Big Bacon Hopes in Needham Heights

Café Fresh Bagel

896 Highland Ave., Needham, MA

Price: $4.50 (plus tax)

Rating: 81/100

Fullness: the way a breakfast sandwich is intended.

There were more pairs of UGG boots here than types of bagels, which is hard to imagine at this Needham Heights bagel kingdom. Café Fresh Bagel felt like I walked into something between an awkward mid-pubescent school dance and Chubby’s from Boy Meets World. Equally difficult to adjust to was the front door that was swung wide open most of the time I was there, leaving me at the mercy of the elements.

I nabbed a couple Orangina’s and placed my order with a grumpy little bird behind the counter. While waiting for my sandwich I glanced around for an open table without any luck. This place was packed to the gills and I couldn’t see any opportunities in sight. After a squawking group of hens were done hogging half the tables, my old man and I were able to squeeze a cheek and enjoy one of the finest quality breakfast sandwiches I’ve seen around.

I got my bacon, egg, and (American) cheese sandwich on a ultra fresh onion bagel with onion bits on the top and bottom. The option of provolone or Swiss was also presented to me, but Swiss is one line that I don’t cross. There was no question that the pile of eggs on there was 100% real. Maybe 2 or 3 fried eggs, which were a little browned and prepared in an omelet fashion. The bacon was a little flabby, but I guess I didn’t request it crispy so I can’t complain too much. Also, the majority of it was shifted to one side which made eating the other side a little uneventful. The sandwich was scorching hot to begin with, but the 40 MPH gusts blowing through the café took care of that issue pretty quick.

Blistering winds and high school flashbacks aside, this place was great. I obviously loved that they make their own bagels, and I definitely appreciated the omelet style approach to the breakfast sandwich. I would suggest that you always prepare bacon crispally (….sp?) unless requested otherwise and also ensure that it is equally distributed throughout the sandwich. However, these are not major issues considering the big picture of their high quality and hot ingredients.

After finishing my sandwich, it was no surprise why this place was so popular, but I think next time I’ll bring a cattle prod to avoid any table issues.

Double Deck of Eat IT

Coolidge Corner Clubhouse

307 Harvard St., Brookline

Price: $8.99

Rating: 80/100

Fullness: not $9 worth, but gratified.

Before hibernating all afternoon, I filled up my reserves at the Coolidge Corner Clubhouse. This is one of my favorite places in the area. I’ve eaten their burger and curly fries and was very pleased so I thought I would try them out for breakfast.

I scanned the menu and saw a number of delicious options. I was torn for awhile between the Egg Sandwich and the Breakfast Quesadilla. I decided $10.99 was way too much to spend on breakfast so I went with the Egg Sandwich. In hindsight, I’d be very curious to see what they do with the quesadilla, which come with salsa and homefries. Perhaps another day…

My meal took a respectable amount of time and when it came out, everything was a good temperature and ready for inspection. As you can see from the photo, they don’t spoil you with homefries. Nevertheless, they were very good. The description on the menu was “2 fried eggs, ham, bacon & cheese club-style on wheat bread”. I guess I didn’t realize what they meant by “club style” and was very surprised when it first came out.

It was clear from the start that whoever made this sandwich took their time with it. It was put together very nicely and had an equal amount of contents distributed amongst the quadrants. The first floor of this sandwich was a fried egg with 3 or 4 strips of bacon and a slice of white cheddar. Whatever skimping occurred with the homefries was made up for in the sandwich. The bacon was crispy and full of flavor and the cheddar added a nice subtleness to it. Dividing the two layers was a third piece of toast, which I hadn’t expected, but was pleased to see. The second deck was a healthy amount of ham, another fried egg and some more cheddar.

When I focused I could discern each of the flavors, but overall the different elements blended very well. Typically I don’t like to mix meats, but obviously since bacon and ham originate from the same animal, I was open to this. I prefer to stick with one animal. This hasn’t always been the case, though. When I was younger I used to go to the deli and get as many different kinds of meat I could and pile them all on one sandwich. No cheese - no vegetables – no condiments, speeding down a Sodium super highway.

Breakfast sandwiches generally have 3 animal products, totally refuting my point about sticking to one animal at a time. But this is one of the exceptions in my reformed life. This sandwich had a lot of good things going for it. I love ham and cheese sandwiches, and this came through in part. Also, the bacon was perfect. The sandwich had a homemade feel to it.

Complaints: club sandwiches are generally enormous, which is why they require being quartered. This sandwich was a good size, but by no means was it enormous. So the whole club idea was used as a sort of novelty. Also, the crust on club sandwiches tend to slash the corners of my mouth like a Chicago Smiley. I do not like this so if I could suggest one thing to the chef it would be to go easier on the toasting or maybe not toast at all?

I wouldn’t necessarily go to the Clubhouse for its prices, but check them out if you’re like me and you like your food made with a little TLC.

The Grand Slam Burrito

Denny's did something right for once when they came out with this elephant's you-know-what. I had the pleasure of trying the Grand Slam Burrito this Summer somewhere in Texas. I'd like to try and replicate it someday.

Egg Sucks, Cheese Sucks, Bacon Sucks

Panera Bread

201 Brookline Ave, Boston

Price: $4.07

Rating: 62/100

Fullness: cheated

Having finally recovered from last week’s stint at rock bottom, I hoisted myself up by my love handles today and ventured down to Panera Bread on Brookline Ave. Hesitant of any bakery/breakfast chains, I decided to take the advice of some fellow bacon fans and try their breakfast sandwich. I’ve always been an enormous fan of their bagels and was reminded of this while waiting in line shortly before 12 o’clock noon (breakfast cut-off). I approached the counter and asked the little lady behind the register whether I should have my sandwich on an Asiago or a French Toast bagel. Never hearing of this French Toast flavored bagel, I was curious whether it would feature any similarities to McD’s heavenly McGriddle. I put the decision in her hands and she chose the Asiago, which I was fine with.

True to Panera’s fashion, my name was being called moments after ordering. Fortunate for this blog, unfortunate for Panera, I was able to watch the entire assembling process from floppy start to flimsy finish. I looked on as “Alicia” slapped down a postage stamp size slice of Vermont cheddar followed by a reheated wet egg disk, then nailed it with another cheddar stamp and two slices of bacon jerky.

Allowing customers to watch their food get prepared is a risky idea. The girl kept returning to what looked like some sort of filing cabinet to retrieve my sandwich contents. Letting me see this was mistake number one. Unappetizing mistake number two: I didn’t order a barbecue chicken melt so don’t use the Panini press to reheat my $4 breakfast sandwich. I want my bagel toasted and at least one of the ingredients to be hot enough to melt the cheese.

The sandwich sounds good on paper: Asiago bagel, one real egg, two slices of Vermont cheddar, and two strips of non-flabby bacon. The truth was, the only flavor to speak of was coming from the bagel itself. This is a bad sign no matter what kind of sandwich you’re talking about.

One last quick note about that “non-flabby bacon,” bacon jerky on its own isn’t a bad idea. But you’re not going to win me over when bacon is getting dragged out by my teeth in the first bite.

I gave you a chance Panera Bread and you gave me bacon jerky on a wet egg. Stick to what you do best and keep that broccoli cheddar comin’.

The Glazed McMayo

Today we will be examining the Glazed McMayo. I would be surprised if this heavyweight didn’t take off faster than Stuffed Crust Pizza. For those of you wondering whether I included mayonnaise in it, well no. You’re wrong and you’re sick for it. The sandwich gets its titled from my middle name prior to becoming the Bacon Phantom.

Todays ingredients call for the following:

1 slice of white American cheese

2 eggs

3 strips of Oscar Myer maple bacon

1 honey dipped from Dunkies

First, wash your hands. There’s only room for one pork product in this sandwich and any H1N1 would be too much.

Begin by gently slicing your donut in half. Emphasis on “gently” because these things are obviously not meant for sandwich making and tend to tear easily.

Toss the donut halves in the toaster oven and get your two eggs scrambled and in a mini-pan*. Fry up your 3 strips of bacon until they’re crispy. If you like your bacon flabby then you're sick and you should rethink things.

Ideally, all three of these elements will be done around the same time. Place your egg patty down first, followed by the white American and top it off with the Oscar Myer’s strips.

*I picked up a super mini-pan specifically for egg sandwiches at Shaw’s for $6.99 and it makes perfectly shaped egg patties. The pan is pretty comical looking.

I got the idea of using a glazed donut for sandwich purposes from The Big “E” out in West Springfield that runs for 3 weeks every fall. It was the “Craze-E-Burger” that was getting the most attention this year and consisted of a bacon cheeseburger on a glazed donut. A real heart-stopper. I cried through the last half of the burger. I do believe that it was the Food Network’s Paula Dean who came up with the original glazed donut burger. Bless that butter lovin’ soul.

The Glazed McMayo had the salty sweet going on. I’m now writing this blog about 2 hours later and my chest still hurts (literally). Eating the whole thing was pretty difficult. More for shock value than anything else.

I most likely will not be doing this one again. Fairly delicious yes, but you’ll never see one of these in a weight loss program. Try it once for attention, but leave it at that.

New Deal

Today marks a new day for the Breakfast Sandwich Authority. From here on out, I will continue my detailed reviews of the best and worst breakfast sandwiches that Boston has to offer. In addition to this, I will from time to time be posting my own heart wrenching creations (beginning later on this afternoon). These posts will cover recipes as well as general discussion.

As always, I hugely appreciate any sort of blog-related suggestions (including exercise routines).

A debut will be made later on today!

Thinking Critically

An idea for you recreational eaters out there: we tend to find bacon/ham/sausage towards the top of our sandwiches. Next time you make a breakfast sandwich, try turning things around a bit. This morning I accidentally made my ham, egg and cheese on toast upside-down. This caused the ham to land on my taste buds first, setting the party off with a maximum flavor twist.

Cheers!