Cure for a Warrior

Steve's Kitchen

120 Harvard Ave., Allston

Price: $3.95

Fullness: The homefries pick up where the sandwich leaves off

After many months and several futile attempts, I finally caught Steve’s Kitchen while they were open. Following a lead sent in by a BSA fan known only as “Myk”, I dipped into the “Kitchen” for a bacon, egg and cheddar. For a very affordable $3.95, Steve gives you a side of homefries and a large bagel with one (possibly two) fried egg(s), 3 slices of properly prepared bacon and your choice of cheese. Predictable as always, I went with white cheddar and sure enough it was the perfect selection. What makes this little number special is that just prior to being served, the sandwich spends a short stint under the broiler ensuring that the cheese drapes over everything nicely.

Aside from the fact that my napkin looked like a sheet of saran wrap from all the grease, this sandwich put me in my element. They say half of cuisine is the presentation and Steve’s got it down. Most of what I’m referring to is the bubbling cheddar from a flash exposure to extreme heat right before being served. I guess that’s all I’m referring to actually…

I was not overly impressed with the homefries, however they did fill in the hunger gap, which you sometimes run into with breakfast sandwiches. One sandwich doesn’t always fill me up, but two sandwiches makes you a tub o’ lard (apparently). So when homefries join a sandwich, there’s no need to fear.

Far superior to the neighborhood all-day-breakfast nemesis, Allston Café, Steve’s Kitchen has what it takes to be considered a great breakfast sandwich distributor. I would definitely recommend the bacon, egg and cheese at Steve’s for you “Weekend Warriors” out there who believe that grease is the “cure”.

Thanks Myk!

Medley

Bruegger's Bagels (Kenmore location)

644 Beacon St. Boston

Price: $3.99

Rating: 80/100

Fullness: full for hours

Bruegger’s has been advertising “4 sandwiches under $4” as if that’s some sort of great deal. I haven’t dabbled with them too much since my days as a 14 year old newsie slinging Boston Herald’s at 7AM in front of a local franchise. I ate a few too many of their peppered bacon, egg and cheese’s and tapped out for the next 9 years. That was until Monday morning when I got reacquainted with them by trying out their new Western Egg Sandwich. A bacon, egg and cheddar on your choice of bagel and piled high with a cooked veggie medley of green/red peppers, tomatoes and onions, topped off with a chipotle sauce.

Aside from the unfavorable customer service, I was pretty pleased with this one. It had pretty good weight, if you will. All you recreational eaters out there know what I’m talking about. I knew I’d be filled up even before I peeled back the tightly wrapped wax paper.

It was a little further towards the damp end of the sandwich spectrum than I prefer. This can be forgiven, though as moisture is an inevitable byproduct of cooked vegetables. The cheddar that was supposedly on it was sort of vaporized by the heat and got lost in the veggie moisture.

The surprisingly sweet veggie medley (love that word) minimized the impact from the traditionally spicy chipotle sauce. Regardless, this was every bit as heartburning as you could imagine.

The egg was in typical mass-produced patty form serving it’s purpose I ‘spose. Nothing to write home about.

I guess anything with tomatoes and onions could be considered a “western” these days. I wouldn’t really consider it a western, though. Just a regular bacon, egg and cheese complimented by a surprisingly decent selection of vegetables.

If you’re a bacon junky out there looking for a fix and want to pretend you’re being healthy by having vegetables put on your sandwich, consider stopping at Bruegger’s to take down one of their Western Egg Sandwiches. It’ll smooth ya RIGHT out.

el Phantame del Bacón does Mexican

The Pour House

907 Boylston St. Boston, MA

Price: $5.45

Rating: 65/100

Fullness: ¡aye aye aye!

I “broke the fast” yesterday as I pulled up to the counter at the Pour House on Boylston and ordered something a little different for the Bacon Phantom. The Pour House is a fine eating/drinking establishment if you, like me, seek bang for your buck. I ordered the Huervos Rancheros with a slight Mexican accent and waited a good while. It consisted of three scrambled eggs strewn across a flour tortilla with black beans, sour cream, melted cheddar and some sort of spicy Mexican tomato sauce which helped stoke the flames in my esophagus. Descending from a long line of Irish blood, my stomach says “no” to spice but my carefree American appetite says “yes”.

The burrito came out in an open-faced sandwich style, which caught me off-guard. To be honest I would have been fine if they cut the portions in half and rolled the burrito up themselves. Now that’s not to say I didn’t gorge myself and eat the whole pile of which I was served, but presentation is half the battle in my book. I successfully rolled two little burrito doobs cut from either end of flour tortilla (one of which is shown here in the bottom photo), but the middle portion was just too soggy and weighed down so I had to go at that with a knife and fork. Not terribly pleased by this. I generally like to do as little work as possible while eating.

I’ve been combing the city for a breakfast burrito worthy of reviewing and this one seemed to have fit the bill just fine. Since I set out to find a good breakfast burrito a couple months ago, I came across a few not really worth mentioning. One in particular, which I actually will mention was Allston Cafe’s veggie chili breakfast burrito. They certainly don’t spoil you rotten with sour cream/salsa. Stingy on condiments but heavy on indigestion, stay as far away from that one as possible.

“But, uh, back to the lecture at hand”... This breakfast burrito by the Pour House was... so-so at best. Not that I know really anything about authentic Mexican cuisine, but I feel like our friends to the South intended this menu item to be made differently? I also have a sneaking suspicion that the breakfast burrito was an entirely American invention based on Mexican food stereotypes.

Nevertheless, I finished every last bite and was pretty full among other things. I persevered despite the phrase “es no bueno” echoing in my ears with each bite. I really am excited about the prospect of a good breakfast burrito so if any of you out there would please point me in the right direction I would appreciate it.

If you find yourself at the Pour House and can’t resist the Huervos Rancheros, arm yourself with a roll of Tums and expect to taste some stereotypes.

¡Viva Bacón!

a little lesson about me, the Bacon Phantom

One might say my palette has expanded over the past 23 [quasi]adventurous years... but no matter how "enlightened" or "worldly" one becomes, you always end up crawling back to what started it all. For me it's the McDonald's bacon, egg & cheese. It's my parents who are [ir]responsible for giving me that first taste at a ripe young age. My relationship with McDonald's breakfast is about 2 decades old by now, but I'd say it's still pretty [un]healthy. McD's suspended their use of bagels for a number of years, which I believe was the reason my brother and I started making our own bagel sandwiches in our grandmothers old house in Newton. During the Golden Arches suspension of the bagel, bacon, egg, and cheese, I was forced to turn to Dunkin Donuts attempt at it, which was hardly comparable. After a number of years, the bagel was reintroduced at America's "favorite fast-food chain" along with some sort of secret sauce? I gradually became accustomed to this new moisture-adding mystery sauce and here we are today. I love McDonald's bacon, egg & cheese and I'm not afraid to admit it. Take me or leave me. This was this morning getting my fix:

Superiority on a Toasted English Muffin

Mike & Patty’s

12 Church St. Boston, MA

Price: $4.00

Rating: 91/100

Fullness: Not ashamed

Throughout the Breakfast Crusade I embarked on this past October, I’ve come across the decent, the crummy and the tasteless. Very rarely, I encountered what could only be explained as a religious experience. I walked into Mike & Patty’s today, appropriately located on Church St. and had my eyes re-opened like one of those Born Again’s. Getting my sandwich was like the generic teen film scene when the music cuts out and the hot girl walks down the stairs to greet her nerdy prom date. Hot girl sandwich, me nerdy prom date. Ya’ll get it.

It prides me to announce The Boston Breakfast Sandwich Authority’s first 90+ breakfast sandwich: Mike & Patty’s “Bacon & Egg Classic”. Bacon was crispy (just the way he likes it), American cheese was gooey and the egg was fried with high standards. This egg was so fresh it might have fallen out of a hen’s be-hind just this morning. Wouldn’t surprise me one bit.

I actually ended up ordering a second Bacon & Egg Classic. This was a first for the Phantom. I think one would have sufficed any normal appetite, but the option for another was far too tempting to resist.

I had never heard of Mike & Patty’s until this morning on Yelp, and it was close enough for a March bike ride. I had a little bit of trouble finding it, but perhaps this was because it doesn’t have a sign out front. This added to the quaint overall feel (to be a food connoisseur you have to use words like “quaint” every once in awhile). When I finally found it and got in there I realized the reviews I read on Yelp weren’t kidding, it was teeny tiny. But by some sort of miracle of science they fit four girls behind the counter. Everyone was really friendly. I had the pleasant opportunity of meeting Patty and she had a few great suggestions for other sandwiches around the city. Thank you Patty!

I took some time to review the rest of the menu and there were plenty of other mouth-watering breakfast/lunch offerings. They also had a small selection of interesting drinks. I purchased a Ginger Brew soda to wash down the history-making sandwich.

If you’re serious about breakfast sandwiches, consider a pilgrimage to Mike & Patty’s on Church St. in Boston’s Bay Village!

The Maple Monster

-2 Eggo’s

-2 Eggs (Scrambled)

-a healthy helping of ham

-1 slice American cheese

-maple syrup

Ever since I first fell in love with McDonalds’ tasty McGriddle, I’ve been inspired attempt my own. Being too ashamed to order more than one, I would gobble up every precious maple infused morsel of that teasingly small sandwich. It wasn’t until I read Tucker Max’s I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell a few years ago that I realized other people were equally drawn to it.

So today I set out to make my own. The idea has been rattling around my brain and I’ve been trying to determine the best way to go about it. Buying maple infused Eggo’s seemed like too obvious a solution. Why fake it when you can use real (fake) maple syrup from the bottle? A little unknown fact about myself, I’m a lifelong fake maple syrup user.

I decided to go with Buttermilk Eggo’s and ham for the meat option. I scrambled two eggs and went with one slice of white American cheese. The Eggo’s weren’t quite the kind of quality I chose to remember from my childhood, but they sufficed.

After finishing my sandwich (which was delicious as expected), I thought there were two things I would have done differently. One, toast the waffles more thoroughly. These things are bone dry and ready to absorb any type of moisture they come in contact with so make them extra toasted or they’ll just get flip-floppy. Also, go ahead and be generous with the amount of ham. Life’s too short to skimp on these sorts of things.

Better Movie than a Sandwich

The Breakfast Club

270 Western Ave., Allston, MA

Price: $5.97 (plus tip)

Rating: 55/100

Fullness: not the type you’re proud of

While cruising around Brighton in my Edible Arrangements van this afternoon, I felt a little rumble in the old spare tire (around my waist) so I stopped into The Breakfast Club diner on Western Ave. I stepped up to the empty counter and ordered a bacon, egg & cheese on a bagel. The girl put in the order and then I told her “make that bacon crispy, please.” She said “sure, no problem” and dropped back into the kitchen where she placed my request with the cook. Then in plain view started running her fingers through his hair scratching his scalp like an attention starved dog. Lord knows the amount of dander that was released into the air. For the sake of my appetite though, I tried to ignored this...

After 10 minutes or so, the man-puppy packaged up my BEC and a side of homefries in a to-go tray and I returned back to the van. Two or three bites into my meal, I looked up for a moment to take a breath. To my dismay, I witnessed the very same hands that made my sandwich being stuffed between the backseats of a mid-size SUV. Trash cans saddled up next to the car filled with food wrappers and coffee cups and a vacuum cleaner already inside. It appeared as though this project had begun long before I got there…

Anyways, the sandwich.

I might have given it a “not bad” if I was able to ignore the unappetizing events that The Breakfast Club had to offer. The bacon was plentiful, but reheated. The egg was real and fried. The bagel was soft inside, although somewhat over toasted on the outside. And the cheese was cheesy. It was one of those sandwiches you don’t jump to tell people about, but it got the job done just fine.

For some reason I always look at old diners so fondly with that folded metal exterior, but it’s the same crap every time. Greasy cooks and standard make-your-chest-hurt breakfast. Next time I see a roadside diner I think I’ll keep driving.

_Bacon Phantom

"If he gets up... we'll all get up... it'll be anarchy!"

Mama mia! Italy invades Vermont via Western Mass

Bruschetta’s

365 College Ave., Southwick, MA

Price: $3.25 (plus tax)

Rating: 80/100

Fullness: Yessir

I was steered in the right direction the other day while visiting my girlfriend’s family out in Western Mass. I encountered a little diamond in the rough called Bruschetta’s in Southwick, MA (opened not too long ago). Despite being rookies in the game, these folks banged out sandwiches with ferocity. I ordered a “New Englander”, which boasted a preformed egg (I know…), sausage patty and plenty of white cheddar. This freshman sandwich stood out from the crowd by pouring maple syrup all over itself in a flavor-frenzy.

What else would an Italian place called Bruschetta’s serve their breakfast sandwich on but a panini? This is far from a complaint, though. Lightly pressed and perfectly chewy, the panini rounded up the entire experience by making it a real meal. If I could change anything about this sandwich, or anything in life really, I would have switched out the preformed egg for a couple real eggs (obviously).

The sandwich was overwhelmingly organized, as you might be able to tell from the photo. This isn’t the worst thing in the world, but I don’t always appreciate a self-conscious sandwich. Let it hang out a little, get a bit messy, maybe take a risk and over-cheese rather than measure it out like a chemical equation.

The New Englander was smoking hot and wasn’t afraid to flaunt it. Kidding, but seriously, the temperature was right, the sausage patty wasn’t filled with bone chips, the cheese was present without trying to steal the show and the syrup accented everything nicely. Oh and did I mention these crafty Italians sprinkled some parsley on the egg as well? Mama mia!

Bruschetta’s featured a number of Italian inspired breakfast sandwiches. If I recall correctly, I believe there was even one made with pesto? Not something I would have ever imagined, but I love pesto so I would try it on just about anything.

Closing thoughts: next time in Southwick, I will not hesitate to return for round two with a sandwich so lovingly named after my home.

Big Bacon Hopes in Needham Heights

Café Fresh Bagel

896 Highland Ave., Needham, MA

Price: $4.50 (plus tax)

Rating: 81/100

Fullness: the way a breakfast sandwich is intended.

There were more pairs of UGG boots here than types of bagels, which is hard to imagine at this Needham Heights bagel kingdom. Café Fresh Bagel felt like I walked into something between an awkward mid-pubescent school dance and Chubby’s from Boy Meets World. Equally difficult to adjust to was the front door that was swung wide open most of the time I was there, leaving me at the mercy of the elements.

I nabbed a couple Orangina’s and placed my order with a grumpy little bird behind the counter. While waiting for my sandwich I glanced around for an open table without any luck. This place was packed to the gills and I couldn’t see any opportunities in sight. After a squawking group of hens were done hogging half the tables, my old man and I were able to squeeze a cheek and enjoy one of the finest quality breakfast sandwiches I’ve seen around.

I got my bacon, egg, and (American) cheese sandwich on a ultra fresh onion bagel with onion bits on the top and bottom. The option of provolone or Swiss was also presented to me, but Swiss is one line that I don’t cross. There was no question that the pile of eggs on there was 100% real. Maybe 2 or 3 fried eggs, which were a little browned and prepared in an omelet fashion. The bacon was a little flabby, but I guess I didn’t request it crispy so I can’t complain too much. Also, the majority of it was shifted to one side which made eating the other side a little uneventful. The sandwich was scorching hot to begin with, but the 40 MPH gusts blowing through the café took care of that issue pretty quick.

Blistering winds and high school flashbacks aside, this place was great. I obviously loved that they make their own bagels, and I definitely appreciated the omelet style approach to the breakfast sandwich. I would suggest that you always prepare bacon crispally (….sp?) unless requested otherwise and also ensure that it is equally distributed throughout the sandwich. However, these are not major issues considering the big picture of their high quality and hot ingredients.

After finishing my sandwich, it was no surprise why this place was so popular, but I think next time I’ll bring a cattle prod to avoid any table issues.

Double Deck of Eat IT

Coolidge Corner Clubhouse

307 Harvard St., Brookline

Price: $8.99

Rating: 80/100

Fullness: not $9 worth, but gratified.

Before hibernating all afternoon, I filled up my reserves at the Coolidge Corner Clubhouse. This is one of my favorite places in the area. I’ve eaten their burger and curly fries and was very pleased so I thought I would try them out for breakfast.

I scanned the menu and saw a number of delicious options. I was torn for awhile between the Egg Sandwich and the Breakfast Quesadilla. I decided $10.99 was way too much to spend on breakfast so I went with the Egg Sandwich. In hindsight, I’d be very curious to see what they do with the quesadilla, which come with salsa and homefries. Perhaps another day…

My meal took a respectable amount of time and when it came out, everything was a good temperature and ready for inspection. As you can see from the photo, they don’t spoil you with homefries. Nevertheless, they were very good. The description on the menu was “2 fried eggs, ham, bacon & cheese club-style on wheat bread”. I guess I didn’t realize what they meant by “club style” and was very surprised when it first came out.

It was clear from the start that whoever made this sandwich took their time with it. It was put together very nicely and had an equal amount of contents distributed amongst the quadrants. The first floor of this sandwich was a fried egg with 3 or 4 strips of bacon and a slice of white cheddar. Whatever skimping occurred with the homefries was made up for in the sandwich. The bacon was crispy and full of flavor and the cheddar added a nice subtleness to it. Dividing the two layers was a third piece of toast, which I hadn’t expected, but was pleased to see. The second deck was a healthy amount of ham, another fried egg and some more cheddar.

When I focused I could discern each of the flavors, but overall the different elements blended very well. Typically I don’t like to mix meats, but obviously since bacon and ham originate from the same animal, I was open to this. I prefer to stick with one animal. This hasn’t always been the case, though. When I was younger I used to go to the deli and get as many different kinds of meat I could and pile them all on one sandwich. No cheese - no vegetables – no condiments, speeding down a Sodium super highway.

Breakfast sandwiches generally have 3 animal products, totally refuting my point about sticking to one animal at a time. But this is one of the exceptions in my reformed life. This sandwich had a lot of good things going for it. I love ham and cheese sandwiches, and this came through in part. Also, the bacon was perfect. The sandwich had a homemade feel to it.

Complaints: club sandwiches are generally enormous, which is why they require being quartered. This sandwich was a good size, but by no means was it enormous. So the whole club idea was used as a sort of novelty. Also, the crust on club sandwiches tend to slash the corners of my mouth like a Chicago Smiley. I do not like this so if I could suggest one thing to the chef it would be to go easier on the toasting or maybe not toast at all?

I wouldn’t necessarily go to the Clubhouse for its prices, but check them out if you’re like me and you like your food made with a little TLC.

The Grand Slam Burrito

Denny's did something right for once when they came out with this elephant's you-know-what. I had the pleasure of trying the Grand Slam Burrito this Summer somewhere in Texas. I'd like to try and replicate it someday.

Egg Sucks, Cheese Sucks, Bacon Sucks

Panera Bread

201 Brookline Ave, Boston

Price: $4.07

Rating: 62/100

Fullness: cheated

Having finally recovered from last week’s stint at rock bottom, I hoisted myself up by my love handles today and ventured down to Panera Bread on Brookline Ave. Hesitant of any bakery/breakfast chains, I decided to take the advice of some fellow bacon fans and try their breakfast sandwich. I’ve always been an enormous fan of their bagels and was reminded of this while waiting in line shortly before 12 o’clock noon (breakfast cut-off). I approached the counter and asked the little lady behind the register whether I should have my sandwich on an Asiago or a French Toast bagel. Never hearing of this French Toast flavored bagel, I was curious whether it would feature any similarities to McD’s heavenly McGriddle. I put the decision in her hands and she chose the Asiago, which I was fine with.

True to Panera’s fashion, my name was being called moments after ordering. Fortunate for this blog, unfortunate for Panera, I was able to watch the entire assembling process from floppy start to flimsy finish. I looked on as “Alicia” slapped down a postage stamp size slice of Vermont cheddar followed by a reheated wet egg disk, then nailed it with another cheddar stamp and two slices of bacon jerky.

Allowing customers to watch their food get prepared is a risky idea. The girl kept returning to what looked like some sort of filing cabinet to retrieve my sandwich contents. Letting me see this was mistake number one. Unappetizing mistake number two: I didn’t order a barbecue chicken melt so don’t use the Panini press to reheat my $4 breakfast sandwich. I want my bagel toasted and at least one of the ingredients to be hot enough to melt the cheese.

The sandwich sounds good on paper: Asiago bagel, one real egg, two slices of Vermont cheddar, and two strips of non-flabby bacon. The truth was, the only flavor to speak of was coming from the bagel itself. This is a bad sign no matter what kind of sandwich you’re talking about.

One last quick note about that “non-flabby bacon,” bacon jerky on its own isn’t a bad idea. But you’re not going to win me over when bacon is getting dragged out by my teeth in the first bite.

I gave you a chance Panera Bread and you gave me bacon jerky on a wet egg. Stick to what you do best and keep that broccoli cheddar comin’.

The Glazed McMayo

Today we will be examining the Glazed McMayo. I would be surprised if this heavyweight didn’t take off faster than Stuffed Crust Pizza. For those of you wondering whether I included mayonnaise in it, well no. You’re wrong and you’re sick for it. The sandwich gets its titled from my middle name prior to becoming the Bacon Phantom.

Todays ingredients call for the following:

1 slice of white American cheese

2 eggs

3 strips of Oscar Myer maple bacon

1 honey dipped from Dunkies

First, wash your hands. There’s only room for one pork product in this sandwich and any H1N1 would be too much.

Begin by gently slicing your donut in half. Emphasis on “gently” because these things are obviously not meant for sandwich making and tend to tear easily.

Toss the donut halves in the toaster oven and get your two eggs scrambled and in a mini-pan*. Fry up your 3 strips of bacon until they’re crispy. If you like your bacon flabby then you're sick and you should rethink things.

Ideally, all three of these elements will be done around the same time. Place your egg patty down first, followed by the white American and top it off with the Oscar Myer’s strips.

*I picked up a super mini-pan specifically for egg sandwiches at Shaw’s for $6.99 and it makes perfectly shaped egg patties. The pan is pretty comical looking.

I got the idea of using a glazed donut for sandwich purposes from The Big “E” out in West Springfield that runs for 3 weeks every fall. It was the “Craze-E-Burger” that was getting the most attention this year and consisted of a bacon cheeseburger on a glazed donut. A real heart-stopper. I cried through the last half of the burger. I do believe that it was the Food Network’s Paula Dean who came up with the original glazed donut burger. Bless that butter lovin’ soul.

The Glazed McMayo had the salty sweet going on. I’m now writing this blog about 2 hours later and my chest still hurts (literally). Eating the whole thing was pretty difficult. More for shock value than anything else.

I most likely will not be doing this one again. Fairly delicious yes, but you’ll never see one of these in a weight loss program. Try it once for attention, but leave it at that.

New Deal

Today marks a new day for the Breakfast Sandwich Authority. From here on out, I will continue my detailed reviews of the best and worst breakfast sandwiches that Boston has to offer. In addition to this, I will from time to time be posting my own heart wrenching creations (beginning later on this afternoon). These posts will cover recipes as well as general discussion.

As always, I hugely appreciate any sort of blog-related suggestions (including exercise routines).

A debut will be made later on today!

Thinking Critically

An idea for you recreational eaters out there: we tend to find bacon/ham/sausage towards the top of our sandwiches. Next time you make a breakfast sandwich, try turning things around a bit. This morning I accidentally made my ham, egg and cheese on toast upside-down. This caused the ham to land on my taste buds first, setting the party off with a maximum flavor twist.

Cheers!

The Broken Yolk Breaking Records

The Broken Yolk

136 College Ave, Somerville

Price: $4.77

Rating: 84/100

Fullness: like swallowing a 3-course meal

The journey continued today as I paid a visit to The Broken Yolk in Somerville this morning on College Ave. I’ve heard some good things including a self-proclaimed world-famous breakfast burrito. A number of people talked to me about this place so today was the day.

I was posed with a wide array of breakfast sandwich options such as a steak, egg and cheese, a veggie medley, egg & cheese as well as the very tempting corned beef hash, egg & cheese. There was also the suicidal double meat, double egg, double cheese on 3 slices of toast, but I told myself no. With some deliberation, I settled on the one with steak and took a seat at one of their bright yellow tables. I used the time to look around and get a feel for the place, which was very yellow and baby blue. It was a nice little diner atmosphere with a chipper Latino gentleman manning the counter.

About 11 or 12 minutes went by when the smiley fellow came around the corner with my sammy. Thornton’s “Breakfast Burger” was a tough act to follow, but The Broken Yolk was able to deliver with some innovation. This was something the Bacon Phantom had never come across before. Wrapped delicately in a thin blanket of egg(beater) was essentially a steak and cheese. I didn’t really know what to expect, but the shaved steak caught me off guard. I was imagining an egg and cheese with a flank of steak or something like McDonalds tried passing off back in the late 90s.

The scorching hot breakfast package was tucked inside a gently toasted plain bagel. The whole sandwich came out at about 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Pretending to exhibit restraint, I waited about 30 seconds and then dove in fangs first.

This thing was delicious, but far from nutritious. I got about half way through and had to come up for air. Cheese was dripping and flavor was bursting. The excess of grease was a bit of a negative, but nowhere near the Busy Bee experience. Nevertheless, it was a great experience. The egg blanket provided an organized eating situation, which proved to helped push its way passed the Breakfast Burger in ratings.

Some of you may be thinking steak and cheese wrapped in an egg doesn’t exactly sound like a breakfast number. I’m not necessarily disagreeing, but I will say this: if I were to eat breakfast for all three meals of the day, I’d save this baby for dinner.

On the 7th Day, He created the Breakfast Burger

Thornton’s Restaurant & Café

150 Huntington Ave., Boston

Price: $5.95 (sandwich/homefries meal)

Rating: 80/100

Fullness: pleasantly full

My search today lead me to a breakfast, lunch & dinner place on Huntington Ave. called Thornton’s Restaurant & Café that serves breakfast all day. The name had me reminiscing of old Thornton’s Restaurant/Bar on Peterborough Street that got leveled in a fiery Hell (RIP). Quite the opposite was today’s breakfast sammy that tasted like it had descended straight from Heaven. Created by the hands of the late Julia Child beyond the Pearly Gates and sent down alongside some well-seasoned homefries.

I ordered the “Breakfast Burger” from a well-mannered gentleman who asked what style of egg I preferred, to which I requested scrambled. The Immaculate Conception of my breakfast took about 12-14 minutes and when it came out it was glowing. The sandwich came on a perfectly toasted English muffin with one very melty slice of orange cheddar and the equivalent of about 2 to 3 eggs worth of eggbeaters. I almost had to unhinge my lower jaw like an anaconda just to get my mouth around the thing!

The Bacon Phantom finds eggbeaters to be a sinful way to cut corners and because of this he had to knock the overall rating down from an 87 to an 80. Only real scrambled egg could have done divine justice for this “Breakfast Burger.” Nevertheless, this meal was fantastic. The quality breakfast sausage was met with high appreciation and the cheddar instead of American was found to be a nice touch.

Although there was no real “burger” as advertised, I was still highly satisfied with the one sausage that had been split a few times down the middle and settled atop the mountain of egg.

Any breakfast sandwich aficionado interested in experiencing Thornton’s Breakfast Burger come ready with an appetite and be prepared to use both hands. GOD SPEED.

Order some water with this one

Crispy Crepes Café

512 Park Drive, Boston

Price: $3.71

Rating: 55/100

Fullness: Thank you hash browns.

Today’s sandwich came from a little Mediterranean spot that I’ve been frequenting since I moved to Beacon Street. It’s a little sit down place, but you order your food at the counter. They make delicious crepes, however today I was on a specific mission. I’ve had their breakfast sandwiches before in traditional as well as triangular crepe form. I felt it was important for information gathering purposes that I didn’t spread my wings too far. I approached the counter to order a BEC on a plain toasted bagel and a side of hash browns for some nourishment.

I took a seat at one of their many tables and after a few minutes most of my company received their meals. Mine however took a bit longer than expected (10 minutes or so). With close examination, I saw that my bagel was lightly toasted, egg slightly burnt, bacon nicely cooked and cheese already melting its way through the bagel hole. Aside from the egg, I was fairly pleased with what I was looking at.

My first bite didn’t really have any flavors jumping out at me. I took a second bite to try and find where the flavor was. Still couldn’t be found. I was confused because as I mentioned, I’ve had this very same sandwich before and sort of enjoyed it. Crispy Crepes didn’t bring their A-game today, but in general they’re a solid go-to for cheap eats (bro talk).

There is another thing I would like to briefly address. There has always been something peculiar about their bacon. A guest of mine joked that perhaps it was horse bacon. I had never heard of such a thing, but after this breakfast session, I’m not sure what to think.

Here’s what was good about the sandwich: the bagel was soft and nicely toasted, the egg was real, the horse bacon was crispy and the whole thing was hot. That being said, the egg was too small and left a few bare bagel bites (very dry, big negative). Actually, the whole thing was like chewing through the Sahara. I’d like to know why restaurants are afraid of using scrambled egg for their sandwiches? Perhaps it would take a little more time, but I like putting some milk and cheese in my scrambled egg when making a “bfastwich”. That’s a good way to add some moisture without having to sop the bagel in grease.

My closing thoughts are this: There was no grand finale. I honestly didn’t even want to finish the sandwich. Unfortunately I had to in the interest of getting my money’s worth.

I’m not writing Crispy Crepe’s off forever. You can’t expect the Coming of Christ to appear in a bacon, egg and cheese at a crepe place. All I’m looking for is a little thoughtfulness.

Bacon Phantom Gets Curveball and a Homerun

The Snack Bar

691 Cambridge St. East Cambridge, MA

Price: $5.35

Rating: 85/100

Fullness: Filled!

The following must be read with the understanding that I never planned on submitting this evaluation on the BSA blog. However, I exercised my executive authority to include the following sandwich after considering its contents.

Don’t judge me.

Ladies and gents, The Snack Bar’s “Portuguese Man ‘o War”! I was tipped off by last weeks Boston Phoenix cheap eats column about this little East Cambridge pizzeria gem. The sub features seasoned pork, deli ham, a fried egg and provolone cheese. I had some extra time today at work to figure out where to get my lunch so I dropped in to try this submarine sandwich that could probably stop Lance Armstrong’s heart.

As you can see from the photo above, I didn’t even consider reviewing this artery clogger until about 2 bites from completion. This was about when I realized why I was so drawn to it; it’s essentially a breakfast sandwich in lunch form with ham, egg, and cheese plus pork, which is weird, but who cares?

That being said, HOLY Shit folks. Molten provolone, delicious ham, the dankest of pork and 2 real fried eggs all on a toasted sub roll! One note on the pork was the excess blubber that I could have done without (bottom right of the photo). Then again, you can’t expect the creator of this beast to think the person ordering it’s going to give a damn about a ‘lil gristle, know what I mean?

The sub was also hot as Hell, which is likely where I’m going for eating this deadly sin. Regardless, the lesson learned today is that glory is out there. We’ve just got to look in the right places.

Our first satisfactory experience

Temptations Café

313 Huntington Ave, Boston

Price: $4.02

Rating: 74/100

Fullness: full enough for 4 bucks

Located across from the YMCA on Huntington is Temptations Café. I had never heard of this place and really only selected it because they were still serving breakfast. I walked in and ordered my usual bacon, egg, and cheese on a plain toasted bagel. I’ve been specifying that my bagel be toasted ever since the cholesterol catastrophe at Busy Bee (see below).

The sandwich took about 6 minutes to assemble so I knew there weren’t going to be any masterpieces served today, but I chose to remain optimistic. I got my sandwich, unwrapped it from the wax paper and observed a puff of a steam. Always a plus to have it served hot. Out tumbled some crisp bacon crumbles as well, which I appreciated, but I had to deduct some points for this in the spirit of the search for the perfect sandwich. The BEC actually featured a plethora of crisp bacon, along with melted American cheese, and one real egg upon a soft, chewy plain bagel.

Within the first few bites I was fairly positive the bacon was precooked (losing much of its flavor). This cost it some points in the evaluation as well. It also made it clear to me that they really don’t care enough about the sandwich to cook the bacon from scratch.

The best flavor experience came from the combination of all the elements. This may seem obvious, but sometimes some flavors stand out more than others. In this instance however it was the bacon, real egg, and melted American that came together to carry itself through to the end. Despite some setbacks, the overall experience was positive, earning a solid C.

Although far from perfect, I would recommend dabbling with Temptations BEC. Four dollars is a bit steep, but it’s to be expected around these parts.