Big Bacon Hopes in Needham Heights

Café Fresh Bagel

896 Highland Ave., Needham, MA

Price: $4.50 (plus tax)

Rating: 81/100

Fullness: the way a breakfast sandwich is intended.

There were more pairs of UGG boots here than types of bagels, which is hard to imagine at this Needham Heights bagel kingdom. Café Fresh Bagel felt like I walked into something between an awkward mid-pubescent school dance and Chubby’s from Boy Meets World. Equally difficult to adjust to was the front door that was swung wide open most of the time I was there, leaving me at the mercy of the elements.

I nabbed a couple Orangina’s and placed my order with a grumpy little bird behind the counter. While waiting for my sandwich I glanced around for an open table without any luck. This place was packed to the gills and I couldn’t see any opportunities in sight. After a squawking group of hens were done hogging half the tables, my old man and I were able to squeeze a cheek and enjoy one of the finest quality breakfast sandwiches I’ve seen around.

I got my bacon, egg, and (American) cheese sandwich on a ultra fresh onion bagel with onion bits on the top and bottom. The option of provolone or Swiss was also presented to me, but Swiss is one line that I don’t cross. There was no question that the pile of eggs on there was 100% real. Maybe 2 or 3 fried eggs, which were a little browned and prepared in an omelet fashion. The bacon was a little flabby, but I guess I didn’t request it crispy so I can’t complain too much. Also, the majority of it was shifted to one side which made eating the other side a little uneventful. The sandwich was scorching hot to begin with, but the 40 MPH gusts blowing through the café took care of that issue pretty quick.

Blistering winds and high school flashbacks aside, this place was great. I obviously loved that they make their own bagels, and I definitely appreciated the omelet style approach to the breakfast sandwich. I would suggest that you always prepare bacon crispally (….sp?) unless requested otherwise and also ensure that it is equally distributed throughout the sandwich. However, these are not major issues considering the big picture of their high quality and hot ingredients.

After finishing my sandwich, it was no surprise why this place was so popular, but I think next time I’ll bring a cattle prod to avoid any table issues.

Double Deck of Eat IT

Coolidge Corner Clubhouse

307 Harvard St., Brookline

Price: $8.99

Rating: 80/100

Fullness: not $9 worth, but gratified.

Before hibernating all afternoon, I filled up my reserves at the Coolidge Corner Clubhouse. This is one of my favorite places in the area. I’ve eaten their burger and curly fries and was very pleased so I thought I would try them out for breakfast.

I scanned the menu and saw a number of delicious options. I was torn for awhile between the Egg Sandwich and the Breakfast Quesadilla. I decided $10.99 was way too much to spend on breakfast so I went with the Egg Sandwich. In hindsight, I’d be very curious to see what they do with the quesadilla, which come with salsa and homefries. Perhaps another day…

My meal took a respectable amount of time and when it came out, everything was a good temperature and ready for inspection. As you can see from the photo, they don’t spoil you with homefries. Nevertheless, they were very good. The description on the menu was “2 fried eggs, ham, bacon & cheese club-style on wheat bread”. I guess I didn’t realize what they meant by “club style” and was very surprised when it first came out.

It was clear from the start that whoever made this sandwich took their time with it. It was put together very nicely and had an equal amount of contents distributed amongst the quadrants. The first floor of this sandwich was a fried egg with 3 or 4 strips of bacon and a slice of white cheddar. Whatever skimping occurred with the homefries was made up for in the sandwich. The bacon was crispy and full of flavor and the cheddar added a nice subtleness to it. Dividing the two layers was a third piece of toast, which I hadn’t expected, but was pleased to see. The second deck was a healthy amount of ham, another fried egg and some more cheddar.

When I focused I could discern each of the flavors, but overall the different elements blended very well. Typically I don’t like to mix meats, but obviously since bacon and ham originate from the same animal, I was open to this. I prefer to stick with one animal. This hasn’t always been the case, though. When I was younger I used to go to the deli and get as many different kinds of meat I could and pile them all on one sandwich. No cheese - no vegetables – no condiments, speeding down a Sodium super highway.

Breakfast sandwiches generally have 3 animal products, totally refuting my point about sticking to one animal at a time. But this is one of the exceptions in my reformed life. This sandwich had a lot of good things going for it. I love ham and cheese sandwiches, and this came through in part. Also, the bacon was perfect. The sandwich had a homemade feel to it.

Complaints: club sandwiches are generally enormous, which is why they require being quartered. This sandwich was a good size, but by no means was it enormous. So the whole club idea was used as a sort of novelty. Also, the crust on club sandwiches tend to slash the corners of my mouth like a Chicago Smiley. I do not like this so if I could suggest one thing to the chef it would be to go easier on the toasting or maybe not toast at all?

I wouldn’t necessarily go to the Clubhouse for its prices, but check them out if you’re like me and you like your food made with a little TLC.

The Grand Slam Burrito

Denny's did something right for once when they came out with this elephant's you-know-what. I had the pleasure of trying the Grand Slam Burrito this Summer somewhere in Texas. I'd like to try and replicate it someday.

Egg Sucks, Cheese Sucks, Bacon Sucks

Panera Bread

201 Brookline Ave, Boston

Price: $4.07

Rating: 62/100

Fullness: cheated

Having finally recovered from last week’s stint at rock bottom, I hoisted myself up by my love handles today and ventured down to Panera Bread on Brookline Ave. Hesitant of any bakery/breakfast chains, I decided to take the advice of some fellow bacon fans and try their breakfast sandwich. I’ve always been an enormous fan of their bagels and was reminded of this while waiting in line shortly before 12 o’clock noon (breakfast cut-off). I approached the counter and asked the little lady behind the register whether I should have my sandwich on an Asiago or a French Toast bagel. Never hearing of this French Toast flavored bagel, I was curious whether it would feature any similarities to McD’s heavenly McGriddle. I put the decision in her hands and she chose the Asiago, which I was fine with.

True to Panera’s fashion, my name was being called moments after ordering. Fortunate for this blog, unfortunate for Panera, I was able to watch the entire assembling process from floppy start to flimsy finish. I looked on as “Alicia” slapped down a postage stamp size slice of Vermont cheddar followed by a reheated wet egg disk, then nailed it with another cheddar stamp and two slices of bacon jerky.

Allowing customers to watch their food get prepared is a risky idea. The girl kept returning to what looked like some sort of filing cabinet to retrieve my sandwich contents. Letting me see this was mistake number one. Unappetizing mistake number two: I didn’t order a barbecue chicken melt so don’t use the Panini press to reheat my $4 breakfast sandwich. I want my bagel toasted and at least one of the ingredients to be hot enough to melt the cheese.

The sandwich sounds good on paper: Asiago bagel, one real egg, two slices of Vermont cheddar, and two strips of non-flabby bacon. The truth was, the only flavor to speak of was coming from the bagel itself. This is a bad sign no matter what kind of sandwich you’re talking about.

One last quick note about that “non-flabby bacon,” bacon jerky on its own isn’t a bad idea. But you’re not going to win me over when bacon is getting dragged out by my teeth in the first bite.

I gave you a chance Panera Bread and you gave me bacon jerky on a wet egg. Stick to what you do best and keep that broccoli cheddar comin’.

The Glazed McMayo

Today we will be examining the Glazed McMayo. I would be surprised if this heavyweight didn’t take off faster than Stuffed Crust Pizza. For those of you wondering whether I included mayonnaise in it, well no. You’re wrong and you’re sick for it. The sandwich gets its titled from my middle name prior to becoming the Bacon Phantom.

Todays ingredients call for the following:

1 slice of white American cheese

2 eggs

3 strips of Oscar Myer maple bacon

1 honey dipped from Dunkies

First, wash your hands. There’s only room for one pork product in this sandwich and any H1N1 would be too much.

Begin by gently slicing your donut in half. Emphasis on “gently” because these things are obviously not meant for sandwich making and tend to tear easily.

Toss the donut halves in the toaster oven and get your two eggs scrambled and in a mini-pan*. Fry up your 3 strips of bacon until they’re crispy. If you like your bacon flabby then you're sick and you should rethink things.

Ideally, all three of these elements will be done around the same time. Place your egg patty down first, followed by the white American and top it off with the Oscar Myer’s strips.

*I picked up a super mini-pan specifically for egg sandwiches at Shaw’s for $6.99 and it makes perfectly shaped egg patties. The pan is pretty comical looking.

I got the idea of using a glazed donut for sandwich purposes from The Big “E” out in West Springfield that runs for 3 weeks every fall. It was the “Craze-E-Burger” that was getting the most attention this year and consisted of a bacon cheeseburger on a glazed donut. A real heart-stopper. I cried through the last half of the burger. I do believe that it was the Food Network’s Paula Dean who came up with the original glazed donut burger. Bless that butter lovin’ soul.

The Glazed McMayo had the salty sweet going on. I’m now writing this blog about 2 hours later and my chest still hurts (literally). Eating the whole thing was pretty difficult. More for shock value than anything else.

I most likely will not be doing this one again. Fairly delicious yes, but you’ll never see one of these in a weight loss program. Try it once for attention, but leave it at that.

New Deal

Today marks a new day for the Breakfast Sandwich Authority. From here on out, I will continue my detailed reviews of the best and worst breakfast sandwiches that Boston has to offer. In addition to this, I will from time to time be posting my own heart wrenching creations (beginning later on this afternoon). These posts will cover recipes as well as general discussion.

As always, I hugely appreciate any sort of blog-related suggestions (including exercise routines).

A debut will be made later on today!

Thinking Critically

An idea for you recreational eaters out there: we tend to find bacon/ham/sausage towards the top of our sandwiches. Next time you make a breakfast sandwich, try turning things around a bit. This morning I accidentally made my ham, egg and cheese on toast upside-down. This caused the ham to land on my taste buds first, setting the party off with a maximum flavor twist.

Cheers!

The Broken Yolk Breaking Records

The Broken Yolk

136 College Ave, Somerville

Price: $4.77

Rating: 84/100

Fullness: like swallowing a 3-course meal

The journey continued today as I paid a visit to The Broken Yolk in Somerville this morning on College Ave. I’ve heard some good things including a self-proclaimed world-famous breakfast burrito. A number of people talked to me about this place so today was the day.

I was posed with a wide array of breakfast sandwich options such as a steak, egg and cheese, a veggie medley, egg & cheese as well as the very tempting corned beef hash, egg & cheese. There was also the suicidal double meat, double egg, double cheese on 3 slices of toast, but I told myself no. With some deliberation, I settled on the one with steak and took a seat at one of their bright yellow tables. I used the time to look around and get a feel for the place, which was very yellow and baby blue. It was a nice little diner atmosphere with a chipper Latino gentleman manning the counter.

About 11 or 12 minutes went by when the smiley fellow came around the corner with my sammy. Thornton’s “Breakfast Burger” was a tough act to follow, but The Broken Yolk was able to deliver with some innovation. This was something the Bacon Phantom had never come across before. Wrapped delicately in a thin blanket of egg(beater) was essentially a steak and cheese. I didn’t really know what to expect, but the shaved steak caught me off guard. I was imagining an egg and cheese with a flank of steak or something like McDonalds tried passing off back in the late 90s.

The scorching hot breakfast package was tucked inside a gently toasted plain bagel. The whole sandwich came out at about 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Pretending to exhibit restraint, I waited about 30 seconds and then dove in fangs first.

This thing was delicious, but far from nutritious. I got about half way through and had to come up for air. Cheese was dripping and flavor was bursting. The excess of grease was a bit of a negative, but nowhere near the Busy Bee experience. Nevertheless, it was a great experience. The egg blanket provided an organized eating situation, which proved to helped push its way passed the Breakfast Burger in ratings.

Some of you may be thinking steak and cheese wrapped in an egg doesn’t exactly sound like a breakfast number. I’m not necessarily disagreeing, but I will say this: if I were to eat breakfast for all three meals of the day, I’d save this baby for dinner.

On the 7th Day, He created the Breakfast Burger

Thornton’s Restaurant & Café

150 Huntington Ave., Boston

Price: $5.95 (sandwich/homefries meal)

Rating: 80/100

Fullness: pleasantly full

My search today lead me to a breakfast, lunch & dinner place on Huntington Ave. called Thornton’s Restaurant & Café that serves breakfast all day. The name had me reminiscing of old Thornton’s Restaurant/Bar on Peterborough Street that got leveled in a fiery Hell (RIP). Quite the opposite was today’s breakfast sammy that tasted like it had descended straight from Heaven. Created by the hands of the late Julia Child beyond the Pearly Gates and sent down alongside some well-seasoned homefries.

I ordered the “Breakfast Burger” from a well-mannered gentleman who asked what style of egg I preferred, to which I requested scrambled. The Immaculate Conception of my breakfast took about 12-14 minutes and when it came out it was glowing. The sandwich came on a perfectly toasted English muffin with one very melty slice of orange cheddar and the equivalent of about 2 to 3 eggs worth of eggbeaters. I almost had to unhinge my lower jaw like an anaconda just to get my mouth around the thing!

The Bacon Phantom finds eggbeaters to be a sinful way to cut corners and because of this he had to knock the overall rating down from an 87 to an 80. Only real scrambled egg could have done divine justice for this “Breakfast Burger.” Nevertheless, this meal was fantastic. The quality breakfast sausage was met with high appreciation and the cheddar instead of American was found to be a nice touch.

Although there was no real “burger” as advertised, I was still highly satisfied with the one sausage that had been split a few times down the middle and settled atop the mountain of egg.

Any breakfast sandwich aficionado interested in experiencing Thornton’s Breakfast Burger come ready with an appetite and be prepared to use both hands. GOD SPEED.

Order some water with this one

Crispy Crepes Café

512 Park Drive, Boston

Price: $3.71

Rating: 55/100

Fullness: Thank you hash browns.

Today’s sandwich came from a little Mediterranean spot that I’ve been frequenting since I moved to Beacon Street. It’s a little sit down place, but you order your food at the counter. They make delicious crepes, however today I was on a specific mission. I’ve had their breakfast sandwiches before in traditional as well as triangular crepe form. I felt it was important for information gathering purposes that I didn’t spread my wings too far. I approached the counter to order a BEC on a plain toasted bagel and a side of hash browns for some nourishment.

I took a seat at one of their many tables and after a few minutes most of my company received their meals. Mine however took a bit longer than expected (10 minutes or so). With close examination, I saw that my bagel was lightly toasted, egg slightly burnt, bacon nicely cooked and cheese already melting its way through the bagel hole. Aside from the egg, I was fairly pleased with what I was looking at.

My first bite didn’t really have any flavors jumping out at me. I took a second bite to try and find where the flavor was. Still couldn’t be found. I was confused because as I mentioned, I’ve had this very same sandwich before and sort of enjoyed it. Crispy Crepes didn’t bring their A-game today, but in general they’re a solid go-to for cheap eats (bro talk).

There is another thing I would like to briefly address. There has always been something peculiar about their bacon. A guest of mine joked that perhaps it was horse bacon. I had never heard of such a thing, but after this breakfast session, I’m not sure what to think.

Here’s what was good about the sandwich: the bagel was soft and nicely toasted, the egg was real, the horse bacon was crispy and the whole thing was hot. That being said, the egg was too small and left a few bare bagel bites (very dry, big negative). Actually, the whole thing was like chewing through the Sahara. I’d like to know why restaurants are afraid of using scrambled egg for their sandwiches? Perhaps it would take a little more time, but I like putting some milk and cheese in my scrambled egg when making a “bfastwich”. That’s a good way to add some moisture without having to sop the bagel in grease.

My closing thoughts are this: There was no grand finale. I honestly didn’t even want to finish the sandwich. Unfortunately I had to in the interest of getting my money’s worth.

I’m not writing Crispy Crepe’s off forever. You can’t expect the Coming of Christ to appear in a bacon, egg and cheese at a crepe place. All I’m looking for is a little thoughtfulness.

Bacon Phantom Gets Curveball and a Homerun

The Snack Bar

691 Cambridge St. East Cambridge, MA

Price: $5.35

Rating: 85/100

Fullness: Filled!

The following must be read with the understanding that I never planned on submitting this evaluation on the BSA blog. However, I exercised my executive authority to include the following sandwich after considering its contents.

Don’t judge me.

Ladies and gents, The Snack Bar’s “Portuguese Man ‘o War”! I was tipped off by last weeks Boston Phoenix cheap eats column about this little East Cambridge pizzeria gem. The sub features seasoned pork, deli ham, a fried egg and provolone cheese. I had some extra time today at work to figure out where to get my lunch so I dropped in to try this submarine sandwich that could probably stop Lance Armstrong’s heart.

As you can see from the photo above, I didn’t even consider reviewing this artery clogger until about 2 bites from completion. This was about when I realized why I was so drawn to it; it’s essentially a breakfast sandwich in lunch form with ham, egg, and cheese plus pork, which is weird, but who cares?

That being said, HOLY Shit folks. Molten provolone, delicious ham, the dankest of pork and 2 real fried eggs all on a toasted sub roll! One note on the pork was the excess blubber that I could have done without (bottom right of the photo). Then again, you can’t expect the creator of this beast to think the person ordering it’s going to give a damn about a ‘lil gristle, know what I mean?

The sub was also hot as Hell, which is likely where I’m going for eating this deadly sin. Regardless, the lesson learned today is that glory is out there. We’ve just got to look in the right places.

Our first satisfactory experience

Temptations Café

313 Huntington Ave, Boston

Price: $4.02

Rating: 74/100

Fullness: full enough for 4 bucks

Located across from the YMCA on Huntington is Temptations Café. I had never heard of this place and really only selected it because they were still serving breakfast. I walked in and ordered my usual bacon, egg, and cheese on a plain toasted bagel. I’ve been specifying that my bagel be toasted ever since the cholesterol catastrophe at Busy Bee (see below).

The sandwich took about 6 minutes to assemble so I knew there weren’t going to be any masterpieces served today, but I chose to remain optimistic. I got my sandwich, unwrapped it from the wax paper and observed a puff of a steam. Always a plus to have it served hot. Out tumbled some crisp bacon crumbles as well, which I appreciated, but I had to deduct some points for this in the spirit of the search for the perfect sandwich. The BEC actually featured a plethora of crisp bacon, along with melted American cheese, and one real egg upon a soft, chewy plain bagel.

Within the first few bites I was fairly positive the bacon was precooked (losing much of its flavor). This cost it some points in the evaluation as well. It also made it clear to me that they really don’t care enough about the sandwich to cook the bacon from scratch.

The best flavor experience came from the combination of all the elements. This may seem obvious, but sometimes some flavors stand out more than others. In this instance however it was the bacon, real egg, and melted American that came together to carry itself through to the end. Despite some setbacks, the overall experience was positive, earning a solid C.

Although far from perfect, I would recommend dabbling with Temptations BEC. Four dollars is a bit steep, but it’s to be expected around these parts.

A Royal(e) Swing and a Miss

Espresso Royale Caffe

736 Commonwealth Ave, Boston

Price: $4.12

Rating: 40/100

Fullness: Pissed

In continuing my search, I followed a lead from my good friend Priscilla whose taste in food I used to trust (explanation to follow). I found myself in Espresso Royale Caffe down Comm Ave near BU around 8AM this morning.

When I approached the barista about their breakfast sandwich selection, she listed off the many options for bagels as well as their small (yet impressive) selection for cheeses (America, cheddar, havarti, and Swiss). Having never heard of havarti and loathing Swiss, I thought I’d switch things up from my usual American and chose to try cheddar. This is where the fun ended.

I ordered my sandwich on an onion bagel and opted for one egg (which was real) even though they offered the option of two eggs for an additional price (which in hind-sight, I should have asked for as one barely sufficed.)

The sandwich took about 8 minutes or so to be served up. Usually I’d give points for this, but I wasn’t sure if this was due to the barista paying close attention to my sandwich or rather the result of attention that involves a deficit disorder.

Upon first inspection of my sandwich, I noticed that the little onion pieces could be found both on the top and the bottom of my toasted bagel, which I had never seen before and did appreciate. Unfortunately this was just about all that seemed appetizing about the meal other than the two slices of cheddar that it featured. The bagel was slightly stale, which surprised me considering how early it was. When I took a look at the bacon to see what I was dealing with, I noticed that it was circular cut instead of strips, which turned out to be flavorless. The only flavor that could be found was in the cheddar and there was more of that than the paper-thin egg wafer.

I sat surrounded by the hipster décor just trying to make my way through the sandwich. I was searching for anything good to say about it when the very same barista responsible for this mess started in on a story about her dog pissing on her bed and her cats rolling around in it.

I decided to cut this leg of the journey short and left the last few bites on my plate for the rats out back. Walking out of Espresso Royale Caffe, I remembered that this was the kind of crap that forced me to start this blog.

Busy Bee Restaurant

1048 Beacon St. Boston, MA

Price: $4.23

Rating: 69/100

Fullness: satisfied

For my first stop of this journey, I visited Busy Bee Restaurant on Beacon Street in Boston. It is a local diner with a ’50s décor and the scent of an old man’s dresser. However, it’s a cute place with cheap prices. I ordered a bacon, egg, and cheese on a bagel and took a seat in one of their baby blue booths. The sandwich came out within 5 minutes, which automatically had me a bit concerned.

The sandwich featured a real fried egg, 1 slice white American cheese and 2 pieces of crispy bacon (definitely a must for the Bacon Phantom). The bagel was fried rather than toasted. Typically one does not have health on the mind when ordering a breakfast sandwich, however there are some healthier options such as the toasted bagel that does not take away from the overall experience.

The sandwich appeared to be constructed with very little care and I actually had to readirect the bacon overhang back onto the egg. After placing the second half of the bagel on the sandwich in preparation for eating, I realized how truly greasy this guy was. In fact, this visit to the Busy Bee ended up a four-napkin operation.

The bacon was flavorful and the egg was mostly cooked. A little runny yoke never killed anybody, but this breakfast sandwich enthusiast ain’t lookin’ to end up a little runny himself, if you know what I mean.

I gradually made my way through the sandwich only to find myself a bit short of breath during the last few bites. At this point in my life, I’ve learned that that is usually my body throwing the red flag.

This BEC certainly wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t much to write home about either. I didn’t appreciate constantly needing to wipe my hands. For the price, though, I did end up walking away fairly satisfied. Nearly an hour has passed and my chest still doesn’t hurt so I suppose that’s a good sign.

Overall, I’m content with Busy Bee’s bacon, egg and cheese. And considering it’s close proximity to my apartment, I will likely indulge in one again, however I would not recommend traveling a great distance for their BEC.

Hello world

I have taken on the responsibility of repeatedly subjecting myself to heart-stopping meat, egg and cheese sandwiches to help fellow aficionados find what they're looking for. This blog is for people who are tired of finding themselves holding a sandwich that has been fried up and slapped together by some "cook" who does not give a damn.

Although they say perfection is unattainable, I hold onto the hope that one day I will come across a sandwich that will take my breath away (without having a heart attack). This is a journey in search of the perfect breakfast sandwich (in the Boston area. Hey I'm poor.) I will periodically post a photograph of each sandwich I come across with a quality rating of 1 to 100 as well as price, fullness and location. I will not be discriminating against chain restaurants.

Suggestions for places to try are highly welcome.

Let the search begin.